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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27880065">Spring Blossom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanon006/pseuds/Hanon006'>Hanon006</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hornblower (TV), Hornblower - C. S. Forester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Age of Sail, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Denial of Feelings, F/M, I´m simping for Robert Lindsay so hard, Mom I swear he´s not over 50!, Mutual Pining, Pornblower, Slow Burn, another way to fill my daddy kink, author is having daddy issues, there´s not enough alcohol in this world to satisfy my thirst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:08:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27880065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanon006/pseuds/Hanon006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The marriage to Edward Pellew is not what you expected it to be.<br/>But you will find out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Pellew/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hornblower</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Slowly grows the Orchid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this piece for the lovely Celeste to fill our Dadmiral kink.<br/>This is how I imagine being married to the wonderful Edward and I hope you´ll enjoy it, too.<br/>Happy birthday♥</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I didn´t know what to expect when I walked down the way to the docks. It was a cold autum day, the 8th of October. Little leaves cracked under my feet when I went down the alley in Portsmouth almost not audible under the joyful screams of other wives who awaited their husbands after 1 month at sea. It was one of the happiest days in this city when hundreds of sailors could wrap their loved ones in their arms again and of course enjoy the luxury of good food and a warm bed at night. 2 little girls almost caused me to stumble as they ran past me onto the wooden docks that were no more than a few  strides away. But I stopped right before them. What should I do? This was the first time I´d see my recently married husband after our wedding day.  And I was frightened. </p><p>------------------------</p><p>It was an arranged wedding my father made up a while ago. I just turned 27 and my father was desperate to force me into a liaison with a honorable gentleman.<br/>
His choice fell on Captain Edward Pellew, a nobleman of 58 years, unmarried, for his only love was the sea, so he explained at one of the many dinner partys my family hosted in order to get me coupled up.<br/>
Every time he would almost force the Captain to appear and judging by the confused looks he gave when he was asked about his family situation and his personal preferences in woman<br/>
he should have known what my father had in mind and that was more than just a dinner amongst friends.<br/>
But he came anyways and never let out an opposing word when my father was complementing my noble looks or my qualities as a household woman.<br/>
Pellew was always decent and pretended not to know what my father was trying to achieve with these dinners.<br/>
Sometimes he would blush a little bit but not more than I, myself.<br/>
It was torture to be presented like a turkey for Christmas dinner and not to be able to prevent what would follow. </p><p> </p><p>One late summer evening after dinner with my family, Pellew took me outside to the garden where we talked alone like many times before.<br/>
It was during sunset when we sat down on a little bench and he took my hand.<br/>
“Do you know what your father is implying?”<br/>
“Yes… I do… and I am honestly really sorry for that. With my advancing age he is eager to get me married because he thinks I´ll never take a man on my own.”<br/>
“And what do you think of his “decision”?”<br/>
“I don´t know to be honest… you are… really nice and I always enjoy the private time we spend together talking and laughing. But I also know that, when my father makes a decision, you can´t bring him to change his mind.”<br/>
“Yes, I took notice of that, a very stubborn man your father. But apart from that he truly cares about you and he wants you to be happy and well treated.”<br/>
“I know, he only wants the best for me, he thinks. The problem is, I don´t know what I want yet and I assume you also don´t know because you never entered into his suggestions.”<br/>
“Let me be honest with you. I know I may be not the man of your dreams. I mean, I am almost as old as your father and I don´t expect you to have any kind of romantic feelings towards me-<br/>
but- I would treat you well. I would never force my will upon you. I am a Captain, I will be at sea most of the time and when I come home again all I want is a warm and welcoming home and a dear friend to share my drink and storys with.<br/>
That´s all I ask for. Nothing more and nothing less.”<br/>
“Does that mean you already gave your answer to his unspoken question?”<br/>
“No, because I wanted to ask you first. This will be a big deal for both of us and it would be inappropriate not to ask you.”<br/>
“Will this really work Mr. Pellew? Are you really fine with a wife that probably will never bear your child and surprise you with new undergarments?”<br/>
“As long as you´re happy and loyal I don´t care. I really enjoy your company and, to be brutally honest, I couldn´t think of a wife more beautiful and intelligent than you, my dear.”<br/>
“You really mean that, don´t you?”</p><p> </p><p>He didn´t answer my question, he just looked at me with his sensual caring eyes and I don´t know why, but I knew he spoke the truth.<br/>
Will this be my future? Married to a man who I hold dear as a friend but not as a lover? Will this work? At least I could move out and I´d have plenty of time for myself and spending those few days with a friend doesn´t sound so bad after all.<br/>
He would care for me, protect me and he wouldn´t demand anything I´m not ready to give. There are woman out there who married out of love and are living hell itself for comparison.<br/>
For me, I was already living in my very personal hell, attending to all those dinners where my father would invite one man after another he thought fitting, more fitting for him than for me.<br/>
If I´d agree on this marriage I would at least be spared from meeting these men and pretending to be interested.<br/>
Now all I had to do is to say yes and tell my father.</p><p> </p><p>It took me a week to approach my parents with this matter. Pellew and I agreed to let this information slip at dinner and the result ended in a disaster.<br/>
My father almost choked to death on his whisky and my mother nearly fell from the chair when she tried to help my coughing father.<br/>
One could almost say they were happy about those news.<br/>
After everything settled down again it was a fast process. Since my father was eager to give me into solid hands they rushed a wedding faster and sooner than any wedding planner in the world could.<br/>
It almost seemed like they couldn´t await the day I´d move out with my new husband. The ceremony was at the church in town, we invited the closest family circle and Mr. Pellew invited a few of his friends and colleagues.<br/>
He was as surprised as I was when my family presented the finished preparations after only 4 days.<br/>
Turned out not only because they wanted me out of the house and married, Captain Pellew had to return to his ship by the end of the week to finish business in Gibraltar.<br/>
So that left us with 3 remaining days: 1 day to settle everything, the marriage and the last to handle everything with me moving into his place before he was gone. </p><p>The wedding was as quick as it was planned and over even sooner.<br/>
When he stood by the altar he took my hand and we swore our oaths, he gave me a quick kiss and smiled at me.<br/>
A honest smile, one would almost say he was really happy that day.<br/>
I couldn´t say so for myself.<br/>
Everything was new, I didn´t know if this was the right decision and I was even more afraid of what was yet to come, when Pellews crew dragged us through town in a carriage to his home.<br/>
...The wedding night….</p><p>At his residence we were greeted by all the people who wanted to celebrate with us.<br/>
It was the first time I ever visited his home and he took his time to show me around the important rooms and introduced me to his fellow officers.<br/>
He then left me with one named Horatio that greeted me with a solid handshake and a soft smile to attend to other things.<br/>
This boy, I´d say around my age told me about his adventures with my new husband and how proud he is.<br/>
We got along pretty well and I had found a good distraction while everybody was busy celebrating.<br/>
After midnight all the guests left and the maids and butlers excused themselves.</p><p>Now that the house was quiet and everyone gone I felt a shiver down my spine.<br/>
*The wedding night* it whispered in my head and my thoughts were racing.<br/>
I wasn´t ready for this. I don´t want that. I can´t do this.<br/>
On the other hand he said, that he wouldn´t push me. But is this regarding something else?<br/>
Does this even count for this?<br/>
I was scared…</p><p>When I stepped into the living room Pellew was sitting in his leather chair, a full glass on the table before him.<br/>
“How are you feeling my dear?” He asked<br/>
“Um.. I´m okai I think, it was.. an exhausting day.” And I didn´t lie with that. Meeting all these new people and becoming *Mrs. Pellew* drained me all my energy.<br/>
“I can see that. Why don´t you take a seat and a glass of port?” he pointed on the chair across from him.<br/>
“You think a glass of port will calm my nerves Captain Pellew?”<br/>
“Not really, but it´s better to have something in your hand when you´re as nervous as now. Come here and don´t call me like that please. We´re married now, I think it would be appropriate if you just call me Edward, dear.”<br/>
“Edward…” a smile formed in the corner of his lips as I spoke his name.</p><p>Slowly I sat down and he handed me a full glass.<br/>
“A toast! To our wedding and to all the good times we will spend together! And of course to my beautiful wife.” he spoke.<br/>
We sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking and sometimes looking at each other. I felt awkward and I couldn´t get myself to relax even as I finished the port.<br/>
Edward maybe sensed that something was wrong and put down his glass to come kneeling in front of me.<br/>
He carefully cupped my sweaty hands in his.<br/>
“My dear, I can see that something is wrong. You´re trembling awfully. Please tell me what´s bothering you on this wonderful day.”<br/>
My throat felt dry and I couldn´t manage to bring out a word.<br/>
Instead I felt hot tears running down my cheeks only to be captured by rough fingertips.<br/>
Edward looked at me horrified, took my arms and pulled me up from the chair into his arms.<br/>
He held me tight while I wept, unable to stop myself and he whispered soft words of reassurance into my ears.<br/>
When I calmed down a bit he tried again.<br/>
“You know you can tell me anything, don´t you? I am yours now and I will protect you no matter what. Please, what´s troubling your mind that way?”</p><p>I evaluated if it was wise to tell him what was making me feel this way and I feared he would take it personal. On the other hand I couldn´t lie to and make something up.<br/>
I swallowed hard before I opened my mouth again.<br/>
“Do you know the tradition of a wedding? First you get married, then you celebrate with your family and then at night….” My voice was now mere a silent whisper and I couldn´t bring out the end of the sentence.<br/>
Still embracing me he took my face in his hand so that our eyes met.<br/>
“Do you remember what I promised you that day in the garden?” His brown eyes were full of affection when he spoke to me.<br/>
“You said…. You said you wouldn´t force me…” my thin answer came out.<br/>
“Yes beautiful and I will keep my word.” His fingers traced  my cheeks and he bent down to lay a soft kiss on my forehead.<br/>
“Now come, I´ll show you to your room. You must be tired as well.”<br/>
He took my hand and led me out of the room and upstairs. </p><p>The room was very big with a beautiful canopy bed in the center. Covered in rose silk sheets and a lot of pillows it seemed like it was just prepared for a princess.<br/>
To the right there was a big window with a balcony attached to it. The whole room was sparely furnished and he told me that this would be my own and I could do with it what I wanted.<br/>
He kissed my hand and wished me a goodnight before he left for his own bedroom. All my exhaustion took over me as I pulled the sheets over my body and drifted off to sleep.<br/>
A light smell of lavender followed me into my dreams.</p><p>I woke again in the morning to a warm touch on my head.<br/>
When I opened my eyes I saw Edward seated on the side of my bed, stroking my hair out of my face while he smiled at me.<br/>
“Good morning princess, I expect you slept well last night?”<br/>
“Yes, very well, thank you.” Was my still dizzy answer.<br/>
“Well I´d love to let you rest a bit longer but we have a lot of things to do for I´ll be leaving tomorrow. When you´re dressed come down and we´ll have some breakfast, shall we?”<br/>
When his hand left the last curl of my hair I was kind of sorry for the loss but I shoved that thought away quickly and dressed myself. </p><p> </p><p>The day passed quicker than I expected. Edward told me everything I had to know till he returns home, instructed  the servants and even lend me a bit of money to “enjoy myself” while he´s gone.<br/>
My furniture would be brought to the mansion the following week and I could advise the servants where to put it.<br/>
At night I went to bed with a feeling of joy but also uncertainness. Tomorrow I would be alone here for a long time. </p><p> </p><p>“Will you miss me when I´m gone?” Edward held me in a warm embrace at the door.<br/>
He would leave for about a month and I would be left here. Narrowing my eyes I spoke softly.<br/>
“Yes, but there are a lot of things to do and I think I will manage.”<br/>
“Indeed. I will surely miss your presence. I will think of you every time I admire the beauty of the sea. Take care of yourself my dear.”<br/>
I smiled at him and he smiled back. A sad and unsure smile.<br/>
Before I knew what I was doing I raised my head. His eyes widened with surprise as I pressed my soft lips on his and his hands pulled me closer to him.<br/>
To my own surprise I felt a hot flush spreading inside my body as my lips were devoured by him.<br/>
He pulled back and stroked my cheek one last time – then he went to do his duty.<br/>
I stood at the open door and watched his carriage disappear, the warm flush still echoing inside my body.<br/>
I couldn´t describe what it was at that time, but I would find out someday for sure. </p><p> </p><p>In the passing weeks I spend most of my time with reading, decorating my room and meeting a few friends for tea. It was a simple life and for once I had found peace inside my soul.<br/>
Sometimes my parents would check on me and be disappointed that I could manage everything myself.<br/>
The servants were all kind to me and fulfilled all my wishes, but after a while of savoring the quiet atmosphere something else started to boil up.<br/>
I still didn´t know what kind of feeling took over my body as I sneaked into Edwards bedroom one night and slipped under the sheets in his bed<br/>
breathing in the scent of lavender and a small hint of his fragrance. </p><p>------------------------</p><p> </p><p>Sailor and officers were crowding at the damp docks. Woman were laughing and crying embracing their loved ones after a long time at sea.<br/>
From my position at the end I could make out everyone arriving. Minutes passed as I stood there like a statue, frozen, unable to move.<br/>
I knew this day would come but instead of feeling all cheerful a bit of fear creeped down my spine.<br/>
How should I greet my husband? Was he well?<br/>
Will he be happy to see me here instead of waiting at the mansion? </p><p>Before I could dive further into all these thoughts of distress I spotted him. Without knowing my feet moved on their own first small steps which then became a quick step till I ran through the crowd towards the returning Captain.<br/>
His expression went from surprise to sincere joy when he saw me running  with, what I think,  was a wide smile on my face.<br/>
In front of him I stopped, not sure how to properly greet him after this time but he took that question from me.</p><p>He picked me up with haste to hold me tight in his arms, his face buried in my neck.<br/>
I could feel his stubbles tickling me and a soft chuckle escaped my lips. Putting me down hesitantly he murmured.<br/>
“I am so happy to see you here my love. Oh, god how I´ve missed you these weeks…” and with that he kissed me with a force that almost took the ground under my feet and I could only wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and give in.<br/>
It was not how I planned our reunion but for a strange reason I didn´t complain about his sudden passion that took me by surprise.<br/>
I would have time to think about this later.</p><p>“Glad to see you again Edward.” I said after he broke the deep kiss. “I hope everything was alright?”<br/>
“It is now. I have waited for this day with delight. I´ll tell you more at home, love. I have to finish a few things and then we´ll head back to our house, okai? You can wait in the carriage over there.” He pointed on a black carriage on the street. </p><p>I was still thinking about the kiss he gave me after I took a seat and looked out of the small window. </p><p>I still thought about it when Edward took the seat opposite of me and told the servant to head home. </p><p>Even as I felt his hand touching mine on my knee I wondered why I didn´t felt the discomfort by it I had before. There would be a lot to explain and find out at home. </p><p>Ignoring the warm feeling that spread from my stomach I cupped his hand lingering on mine and showed him a pleased smile.</p><p>There would be time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Shades of Dahlias</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first day at home Captain and now Husband Pellew spends at home with his wife after his long journey.<br/>He brought a present and did I mention they´re having port for dinner?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>While suffering from writers block last months I wrote this piece in about 1 day and 6 cans of RedBull.<br/>Not to mention that if the main character has port - the writer also has to have port-<br/>It´s the law - look it up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was noon when our carriage arrived at our home. Edward kept up a light conversation about his shipmates and the weather at sea.<br/>I couldn´t quite follow him, for my head was over the clouds entwined in thoughts. <br/>This is the first day we will spend together after a month long journey of him and my mind was a mess <br/>considering the strange feelings I enveloped and how to put them.</p><p>“Edward, do you need help with your belongings? I could help sorting them out. Or if you want to have a few moments in private I could just…”</p><p>“Hey, I´ve waited for this day so long. I don´t want to spend a minute without you. I have lot of interesting stories and there is something I need to give you. But first, let us head inside and you show me around, will you?” he interrupted me.</p><p>“Y-Yes of course. I took the liberty in changing some things. I hope you like them, if not we can...”</p><p>“Shhht.” Edward took my hand and lead me out of the carriage into the building.</p><p>“Let´s just look at them I´m sure I will love it. And even if not, the mere joy of having you around me will convince me to say yes to a pair of ostriches you occupied in my bedroom.” </p><p>“Why would I? No definitely not!” I was glad he lighted up the formal mood with a little joke.</p><p>The servants greeted their Lord and he ordered them to bring in his seachest and other things he brought with him. <br/>First we headed upstairs into my personal bedroom. I brought in a lot of new furniture including another closet and several bookshelves. <br/>By the window I created a reading space with a chaiselongue and a little table for candles and tea. <br/>The rest of the room was decorated with paintings and a big mirror.</p><p>“You really improved this old room! It has a sweet welcoming touch to it.” Edward sounded surprised.</p><p>“Do you like it?”</p><p>“Oh yes of course. Did you spend most of your time here?” he moved over to the longue and sat down.</p><p>“A little bit, yes. Most of the time I spend reading in the garden while it was warm. For the following months will be too cold to spend the days outside.”</p><p>“That is true. Why don´t you sit beside me? We can talk here, I´ll order 2 glasses for us.”</p><p>Fumbling with my hands I looked up rather shyly before I approached him. <br/>I knew this day would come and I spend hours thinking about our conversation and how to act when we´re alone. <br/>The heat that spread in my belly since he took my hand in the carriage wasn´t helping to form straight thoughts. <br/>Slowly I took place next to him being utterly careful not to touch him with my body while sitting down. <br/>He called for a servant who should bring us a drink and then turned to me.</p><p>“I really have missed your presence my dear… I know we´re not married that long and I won´t fool you by saying that it is love <br/>– but I missed talking to someone who sees me not as a superior or Captain.” Again he takes my hand in his.<br/>“Also I can´t describe how happy I was to see you at the docks today waiting for my return. I surely hoped for it on silent nights, <br/>but never expected such a heated welcome from you. Which was... very surprising.”</p><p> I could tell what kind of “welcome” he was referring to by the way he looked down on our joined hands.</p><p>“I-I hope that wasn´t inappropriate of me to kiss you like that before asking, but I was just…<br/>I was so happy you took the time to meet me when I got here and please tell me if I disturbed you in any way my dear.” He still focused on caressing my hand with his thumb not meeting my eyes.</p><p>“Edward, I´m fine, really. It was rather unexpected on my side as well but it wasn´t unpleasant if you thought that.” </p><p>Brown unsure eyes caught my gaze and I could watch as a smile formed in the corner of his lips.</p><p>“I would never do something to make you feel unpleasant. In fact I have something that you may find really pleasing after all.” </p><p>I was glad for a change of topic for I didn´t know how much longer I could have endured these longingly gazes he brushed on me. <br/>I myself was surprised his eager kiss early this day wasn´t unpleasant to me at all and that fact made me uncertain. <br/>Uncertain of the feelings inside me and unsure of how to act in his company. <br/>Before I could overthink even more, the servant arrived at the door with our drink and a wooden box. <br/>The glasses were placed before us while the strange box rested on the table near the door. </p><p>“What is inside this Edward?”</p><p>“That, my dear is something I got for you. Come on, open it!”</p><p>Edward already made his way to the table with the mysterious box raising his eyebrows. <br/>I didn´t expect a gift, for what opportunity would he have to get one being at sea almost the whole month. <br/>I opened the box and found a glass bottle inside of it. When I tried to pick it up it was heavier than I expected. <br/>I saw that it was filled with water which would explain the weight but there was something else in it.</p><p>“What IS that?” <br/>The bottle was filled with sand, some stones and a few water plants but there was something else in it moving slowly in vibrant colors.<br/>“Edward is that a kind of snail?” </p><p>“It is, but I don´t know the scientific name for it thou. Maybe we can look it up in a book later?”</p><p>“Yes of course. It looks so pretty, almost like it was painted.”</p><p>“Do you like it?”</p><p>Well that question wasn´t hard to answer. “I really do. I never expected a kind of gift like this.”</p><p>“I could have gotten something different but you once mentioned that you like sea creatures and I found that more fitting than a new necklace or flowers. For those are tricky so find at the open sea.”</p><p>“It´s perfect.”<br/>And it really was. I put the bottle down and turned to Edward to embrace him gently. <br/>I was probably happier about the fact that he remembered our conversation from months ago at this point than about the present itself. <br/>My parents never listened to what I said and what I wished for so this was a welcoming change. <br/>His hands moved upwards to stroke my curls and he placed a light kiss on my hair.</p><p>“I´m happy you like it. It reminded me of you.”</p><p>“Do you see me as that small and slow? Edward, you want to put me in a glass bottle also?” I pushed him away with a grin on my lips. <br/>There was the eyebrow rise again and before I could bring some distance between us he held me at my elbow pulling me towards him.</p><p>“No dear, because it is so beautiful – like you are. But maybe I really have to consider a bottle for such a rebellious girl.” He captured my wrists and put another kiss on my hand.<br/> I couldn´t do more than smile at him earning a honest smile from his part. </p><p>“Well then small rebel, do you want to continue this dance or shall I pour us a glass of port and you show me the rest of the house you decorated?”</p><p>“I think that an appropriate idea Sir, but I hope you brought time with you because this ‘may take a while’.”</p><p> With a cheeky grin I picked up the snail tank and placed it on the small table near the window so the animal would get some light but wasn´t exposed to direct sunlight. <br/>I would check the books later for it so I could take proper care of it. <br/>Edward filled our glasses and leaded me out of the door with a hand on my lower back. </p><p>We went down into the living room where I placed 2 new paintings I brought from my former home. <br/>Both were paintings of ships because I thought that´s what he would prefer too. <br/>They were both by Abraham Storck “Dutch ships entering a Mediterranean port” and “The Battle of Texel in 1673”.</p><p>“My dear I didn´t know you had a fable for ship paintings.”</p><p>“That´s just one of my interests. I hope you don´t mind Dutch ships in your living room while fighting for king and country on an English one.” </p><p>“As long as I don´t transfer to the Dutch I think the king will excuse these. But don´t lecture me if our future dinner guests start political discussions about the Dutch in our home.”</p><p>“I think I could live with that if I don´t get involved. You see they have been family owned for many years now, because one of my ancestors charmed a Dutch noblewoman once. <br/>It´s said that my great grandfather fell in love with a woman there on one of his adventures. They loved each other but she couldn´t marry him and he had to leave the country without her. <br/>So instead of her he took some other things of value with him so they say.”</p><p>“I belive the charming ability hasn´t left the family.” </p><p>I couldn´t meet his gaze and started fumbling at my fingernails again. <br/>It was time to change the topic.</p><p>“I also ordered the servants to put up some flowers in the house. A little – how do you men call it? Feminine touch?” while drinking a sip of the port in my glass I moved out into the hallway leading to the garden. <br/>It was still afternoon and it would be at least 4 hours till the sunset.</p><p>“Edward, what do you think of dinner in the garden today? The day is too pretty to spend all of it inside the house and I bet you´ve had enough of close quarters.”</p><p>“But only if you will honor me with your presence, my dear. I shall tell the staff to prepare everything.”<br/>With that he went back inside looking back at me once before he vanished around the corner.</p><p> </p><p>My mood was still tense and I decided to take a stroll through the garden like I have many times before on my own. <br/>I emptied the rest of the liquid in my glass with one sip and followed the stone path to the middle of the garden. <br/>I found myself there quite often the last week when my thoughts were overwhelming me again. I came here to rest and sort myself. <br/>The week before his arrival was especially strange. It was the time where I started to sneak into Edward´s room to sleep in his bed. <br/>It wasn´t like I missed his touch but his presence and the small fragrance of him in his sheets gave me a feeling of comfort. <br/>And thinking back on what he told me in my room today I came to the conclusion that I also missed someone to talk to as an equal. <br/>I enjoyed the company of my friends who visited once every week and I´m am used to my parents who dropped by 2 times to look if I sat the mansion on fire yet. <br/>But talking with him was always a pleasant variety to the conversations about relatives or the newest scandals of the city. <br/>It wasn´t forced and I recall the calmness this established inside of me. </p><p>Well, that calmness is of the past now and I could only hope time and port could fix that tenseness.</p><p> </p><p>“There are you hiding!”</p><p>A shout brought me back to reality. <br/>Edward approached me from behind. When I turned I saw that he had also changes his clothes. <br/>He exchanged the Admirals dress for a loose white shirt and simple trousers. <br/>I could swear he looked 10 years younger when not being stuffed in a formal and edgy suit. <br/>His hair was coming loose at the tie in his neck and he reminded me of a shipwrecked man at the coast. </p><p>“Where are you stranded at Edward?” I asked jokingly.<br/> Judging his confused looks he didn´t understand what I was implying.</p><p>“Stranded in the middle of my own garden?” was his muddled reply.</p><p>“No. I was referring to your light looks. You changed your clothes.”</p><p>“Yes I thought I could change into something more comfortable. Is it not to your liking my dear?” he approached me with a look of unsureness on his facial features.</p><p>“That´s not what I meant, I do like it. It´s just that this is the first time I see you without a vest and waistcoat.”</p><p>“You can´t expect a man to wear these stiff uniforms even in private, right?”</p><p>“I would never do that, Sir.” I adjusted his loose collar and flattened the edges. </p><p>I think I lost track of time when I fumbled with his collar. <br/>The small curls of his chest hair felt soft under my touch and I could still smell the fragrance notes of the sea on his skin. <br/>Salt mixed with sweat but also hints of musk and citrus. <br/>Not exactly the smell I recall from his sheets but fresher and more alive. <br/>It was only when I felt a contact on my wrist I came to term of what I was doing.</p><p>“Are you alright my dear?” his voice was a mere whisper.</p><p>I pulled back from the touch and cleared my throat.</p><p>“Yes, it´s just all a bit overwhelming at the moment I think. The food will probably be ready by now. Shall we head back?” </p><p>Not waiting for his answer I turned around and headed for the patio beside the house. <br/>The table was already prepared with the cutlery, plates and glasses. <br/>Edward pushed back my chair and took place across from me.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the dinner he told me stories on how he outsmarted a French frigate in battle and how 3 of his sailors wanted to go fishing and ended up capturing a great white shark instead. <br/>While he poured us another glass of port I was glad he didn´t engage on the situation in the garden earlier. <br/>Even when the dinner was finished we continued talking outside with him explaining the taste of a ship´s biscuit which tasted nothing like the name may promise. </p><p>“It is more like a brick you´re biting into. I thank god that we weren´t short on food this journey.”</p><p>“But why do they call it a biscuit then if it´s neither sweet nor tasty?”</p><p>“Because even if you would call it ‘flour brick’ – for what it actually is, do you really think the men would eat it with more enthusiasm?”</p><p>“No but it would sound funnier.” I let a quick grin slip my mouth.</p><p>“Maybe I should set you on ship rations and see for how long you may find that funny.” his eyebrow went up in challenge.</p><p>“You wouldn´t do such a thing!” I played the outraged woman.</p><p>“Oh you bet I would and if you don´t chew down every bite of those delicious biscuits I shall ring the ships bell every half hour in your room.”</p><p>“You wouldn´t dare to let me starve, nor would you get up every half hour by yourself Edward.”</p><p>“No, I leave that work to the servants while I lie in bed dreaming of the calm sea and the bags under your eyes – which you will have the next morning.” <br/>His laughter resonated from the walls and the knot in my chest eased for the first time that evening.</p><p>We kept up the conversation about the food on a ship and I was really grossed out by what sailors were forced to eat when the supplies ran out. <br/>He moved his chair next to mine and held my hand while we chatted lightly and watched the sun going down. <br/>I felt rather tipsy when he suggested to go back inside and I didn´t recall when it has gotten colder.  <br/>Also I didn´t know when we left the garden but it was probably Edwards 4th glass of port and mine also. <br/>I was glad he helped me up for I fear I probably would have stumbled across my own feet otherwise. <br/>His hand rested on my back till we reached his study with the fire place.</p><p>“Are you all right my dear?” he asked as gently as he could maybe even a little worried.</p><p>“No I´m fine. The port is heating me up from inside.”</p><p>“Haha I think so. Either the port has gotten to your head or you enveloped sea legs.” he joked.</p><p>“Sea legs?” I asked while I settled on the couch before the fire place.</p><p>“Yes, that´s what you call legs which are accustomed to the swaying on board of a ship.” he sat down next to me and I felt his hips brushing against mine. </p><p>“I am not that unsteady on my feet, or am I?”</p><p>“Don´t worry about it. If it makes you feel any better I could pretend we are on a ship my dear.”</p><p>“You´ve been on a ship for so long, don´t tell me you already miss it.” </p><p>“Honestly I do. I miss the fresh breeze of the sea and the moving ground below me.” he moved closer. <br/>“But I also missed you and I think of packing you into my seachest the next time we set sail.”</p><p>“Oh Edward, admit it – you just want to set me on half rations!” I poked him gently in the side with my elbow.</p><p>“You little rebel, as if I would take you with me only to see you suffer.” he raised his right hand and stroked softly down my hair. <br/>His left arm sneaked behind my back over the edge of the backrest.</p><p>“Do not tell me you wouldn´t enjoy it seeing me forcing down those dry sailor cookies with a glass of your private whiskey storage.”</p><p>“Who told you I have a private whiskey storage?” he acted shocked. “ I will set that terrible lie spreader on half rations for the rest of the year!”</p><p>“And feed him the biscuits without water?” I fooled.</p><p>“Oh you really know how to make a man suffer.” He growled and cupped my chin with his hand.</p><p>We looked at each other for several seconds before that strange feeling in my belly came back again. <br/>His thumb was stroking my jawline and I had the feeling his face was coming closer and closer to mine. <br/>He narrowed his eyes and traced my lips with his gaze. <br/>A light shiver spread through my body and I grabbed the arm that was holding my face in place. <br/>He must have considered that as an act of rejection because he moved back and mumbled an apology.</p><p>“I… I´m sorry. I didn´t mean to. It was just… maybe it would be the best if we go to sleep my dear.” </p><p>“Yeah.. maybe. But you see that wasn´t meant as…”</p><p>“Shht. It´s all good. We had a very nice evening and since we´ve both enveloped sea legs it would be the best to rest a bit. Shall we?” he pushed away my explanation and offered me a hand to get up.</p><p>Sea legs indeed for I had to hold onto his shoulder when he pulled me to my feet.</p><p>“Will it be long till we reach the bedroom port, Sir?” I tried to loosen up the mood.</p><p>“I will have us there soon lovely. If you hold fast we´ll reach it without any interruption or the French surprising us.” he whispered while he put an arm around my waist to steady me.</p><p>We swayed upstairs and stopped before my room. <br/>He opened the door, leaded me inside and sat me down on the bed. <br/>Since I didn´t let go of his hand he was forced to sit beside me on the silk sheets. </p><p>“Is something amiss? Do you need a bucket or…”</p><p>“No, no that´s not it...” I stuttered. I think the port invaded my head more than it should have.<br/>“You know, when you were gone I … I slept in your bed some nights.” Why am I even telling him this?<br/>“The sheets had a hint of your smell in it and it – it felt comfortable when I was all alone here.” Stop it girl, why do you admit this?</p><p>“You... you slept in my bed? He asked confused.</p><p>“Yes, but only a few times. I didn´t soil them and I always made the bed afterwards.” I blurted out.</p><p>“Oh dear, you could soil them all you want and cover them in mud all over but that´s not the point. Did you feel safe there?” he gently put an arm around my shoulder.</p><p>“Yes…” I let my gaze sink to my knees. <br/>I was ashamed I blurted that secret out. It was the first day he was here and I´m drunk and admitting I invaded his personal space.<br/>“I´m sorry Edward, I...”</p><p>“Say no more.” He put a finger to my lips and pulled me up from my bed.</p><p>I was guided to his room by him and when we reached the edge of the bed I stopped abruptly.<br/>He noticed my hesitation and pulled back.<br/>“You may sleep here for the night, I´ll be taking your room if that´s all right with you. <br/>Have a good night and sleep well my dear.”</p><p>Before I had a chance to say something against it he placed a gently kiss on my forehead and left me in his room by myself. <br/>Did I want him to stay? I didn´t know. <br/>Blaming it on the port I snatched the nightgown near the bed and put it on. <br/>This was harder than expected while being unsteady on my feet and the nightgown being 3 sizes bigger. <br/>It was Edward´s nightgown. <br/>I hoped he wouldn´t mind if I wore it and while settling under the sheets I giggled at the thought of him trying to fit into my small nightgown.<br/>I drifted off to sleep with the familiar smell of him and the hints of salt and sweat that still echoed in my mind.</p><p>----</p><p>One room next to mine a tall man cursed his port inflicted brain and stripped down to his underwear because he forgot the nightgown. </p><p>The silk sheets felt unfamiliar on his naked skin and the flowery scent that occupied the whole room was not the only thing that made his mind dizzy. </p><p>He thought he would sleep well in her room but all it did was fill his mind with inappropriate thoughts a noble man shouldn´t have.  </p><p>He pulled the blanked over his head and breathed in the fragrance of his lovely wife who filled his thoughts since he left port last month. </p><p>And who is now even more present in his mind that the weeks before.</p><p>Oh sweet torture.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I remember I promised romance to the person I dedicated this.<br/>But I gave you slow burn and you probably stayed for the denial of feelings.<br/>Good luck chewing on that keyboard Ashley.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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